I am not okay with advertisements showing up in my feed.
‘Some give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; while others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before.’
-art: untitled piece of ‘the labyrinth’ cycle by marcel chirnoaga-
we were freaks, lobster-clawed boys and bearded ladies,
oddities juggling depression and loneliness,
playing solitaire spin the bottle, trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal.
but at night … while the others slept … we kept walking the tightrope.
it was practice; yes, some of us fell.
but i want to tell them that all of this is just debris,
left over when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought we used to be.
and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself,
GET A BETTER MIRROR
LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER
STARE A LITTLE LONGER
because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying
despite everyone who told you to quit.
you built a cast around your broken heart and signed it yourself.
you signed it “THEY WERE WRONG.”
[shane koyczan - ‘to this day’]
fear not this night, you will not go astray
though shadows fall, still the stars find their way
and you can always be strong
lift your voice with the first light of dawn
dawn is just a heartbeat away
hope is just a sunrise away
[“fear not this night” - gw2 ost, jeremy soule and ree soesbee]
-art: ‘light from the beginning of time’ by kenneth callicutt-
“For as long as I can remember, people have hated me. They looked at my face and my body and they ran away in horror. In my loneliness I decided that if I could not inspire love, which was my deepest hope, I would instead cause fear! I live because this poor, half-crazed genius has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful.” -the monster, young frankenstein, 1974
[music: “transylvanian lullabye,” by john morris, arranged and performed by erutan (katethegreat19) - violin, glockenspiel, harp, voice]
So, this is National Suicide Prevention Week.
2012 marks a decade that I have been suicidal. I struggle every day to think of it as a decade that I have survived - it’s hard to think of it that way sometimes, but I try to, regardless. Most of the time I see it as another decade that I’ve had to stay alive. When I think of each day as a victory, there’s usually a question mark following the thought. On the other hand, there’s still something in me hoping that one day I’ll be glad that I fought through it. People tell me it’ll come, so I try to trust them.
If you are struggling with suicide, or even if you are just sad right now, I am extending my hand to you. Send me an ask. I have email and several messenger programs. You can talk to me. I promise, I will understand.
hello, new followers.
the lights go out, i am all alone
all the trees outside are buried in the snow
i spend my night dancing with my own shadow
and it holds me and it never lets me go
my dear old friend, take me for a spin
two wolves in the dark, running in the wind
i’m letting go, but i’ve never felt better
passing by all the monsters in my head
- Everyone else at parties: *passes out drunk*
- Me at parties: *falls asleep on couch with a book*